Today has been extremely difficult for me as I find my self with empty arms (and empty uterus) on the day that is to celebrate Mother’s.
And whilst I had an incredible afternoon with both my mum and mother in law enjoying Anthony Callea in concert at Crown, the entire time I sat there thinking about how much I can’t wait to be a mum.
I loved being able to celebrate with my mums and spoiling them but it also felt like there was a whole day dedicated to rubbing our infertility in my face. A constant reminder that I am not yet a mother.
I saw this beautiful poem on a forum that made me smile though
My beautiful friend Andrea, who bought me flowers to cheer me up. Love You!
My amazing husband has been so supportive and there is no one else in this world I could imagine sharing this life with, This is all just a part of our story and I am proud to share it.
We are so close to starting our IVF! Within a few weeks I will begin medication and monitoring. I am being placed on a Down Regulation Cycle which involves being put on the pill for a month to balance/control my hormones, then I will commence a nasal spray which has been described as “the 👿 devil” 😳, followed by daily injections and 2 procedures. I will be keeping a diary and in time I will share with you all the good, the bad and the ugly of it.
We have done all the legal stuff, discussed the $ side of it. We will initially be $12,000+ out of pocket but will be reimbursed $5500 by Medicare which softens the blow thankfully.
We have discussed possible side effects of the medications with our nursing team. Let’s just say it’s a bloody big list!
We have also discussed the legal side of things. Quite a morbid discussion especially since we have had to make decisions about what happens to our embryos in the event of either of our deaths. After much discussion, it was decided I will gain full rights to the remaining embryos (if any) in the event of my husbands death. If something should happen to me – they will be donated to science. We couldn’t bring ourselves to donate them to another couple, purely because potential children would be 100% our Biological children and the thought of them being out in the world without us just didn’t seem right but we applaud those that are so generous.
Infertility has definitely changed me as a woman and shown me a beautiful side of my husband that I never noticed before. I have always loved him dearly but I never really knew just how much I could love him until now. Seeing him care for me has shown me that he will be such an amazing father. Our struggles have made him a better man and it has helped him realise we take far too much for granted in this life.
I will share with you all some updates within the next month or so as we begin this journey.
I just want to thank all of the beautiful women in my life who have offered me their support. I have definitely learned who I can rely on in life and who really matters.
Ladies, if you’re fortunate enough to be blessed with children – squeeze them extra tight for me tonight.
My children currently live in my heart but I know I will meet them soon enough and until then I will keep faith and enjoy sleep ins and this beautiful time with my gorgeous husband