A message to my husband

Tomorrow we have an appointment with Melbourne IVF Andrology, my husband is having his “boys” retested. Last time we received the following results:

Volume – 3.5mls (anything over 1.5ml is good)

Mobbility – 51% (anything over 40% is good)

Million per mL: 35 (anything over 15 is good)

Abnormal Count – 99% (Between 95-96% is deemed “normal”)

My specialist has advised that they will always retest the original result as sperm can regenerate ever 72 days or so and the results can change.

To give you a bit of an idea as to what this means for us – Our IVF Treatment will be ICSI :

ICSI treatment involves injecting a single sperm into each egg using very fine micromanipulation equipment. As the human egg is one-tenth of a millimetre in diameter and the sperm 100 times smaller this is a very delicate procedure performed by highly skilled embryologists using a very sophisticated microscope.

It is now that you can see why it is so bloody expensive! Melbourne IVF’s website states that our estimated out of pocket costs per cycle are $4,206.60 +  Medication – allow up to $450 per cycle + Anaesthetic (both egg collection & embryo transfer) + Hospital bed fees if not covered by our health insurance, insurance excess etc, etc….

after learning all of this, I find myself wondering ” what is going on in his head?”

I know that my husband is putting on a brave front for me. I have spent that last 11 years with this man, I know these things by now. He will shake it off and act cool but I see behind this when I look into his eyes.

It is this reason that I felt the need to write this post.

To my husband, the man I love. The man I plan on spending the rest of my life with, In sickness and in health!

Thank you for being so strong throughout all of this. I know that you were shattered when you got your results, probably more than me. But I want you to know that this doesn’t make you any less of a man. it makes you a better one. You have shown me just how much you want a child. I know that you cant wait to be a dad. You tell me all the time.
I picture you with a baby laying on your chest as you lay on the couch. or when you’re cooking me breakfast I see you teaching our kids to cook so they can be just like daddy. I want you to know that I appreciate you wiping my tears and comforting me when you were likely holding back your own.

I love you more than I can ever express to you in words. I am so blessed to share this life with you and I am so thankful that you are so supportive. I just hope you know that I am here for you too. We are a team and I have your back, just as you have mine. Every step of this journey will be together.

if it gets too much – tell me! , if you want to cry – you have my shoulder, and if you would prefer to talk to a mate about it then that’s ok too.

I have so much respect for you and I admire the man you have become. You are no longer the 17 year old guy I fell for, you’re better! You’re so passionate in everything that you do. You aren’t afraid, You’re resilient and the most amazing husband. For this, I thank you.

Picture 613
Me and Hubby – 17 years old,

I just hope that your mates are there for you, either to listen to you when you open up to them or take your mind off everything we are going through even for an hour or two.

Boys – if you’re reading this, talk to him about it. I would hope that he would be there for you if roles were reversed.

It is because our friends and family didn’t know what to say other than “relax, it will happen!” that we decided to share our story – we are happy to talk about it. One day we will tell this story to our children, and explain to them just how much we wanted them to come into the world.

Thank you to all of the beautiful ladies who have shared their stories with us privately – you know who you are – it means so much to us to have such incredible support.

Thanks Again,

Shakiera – The Happy Wife

A message to my husband

7 thoughts on “A message to my husband

  1. Brooke Hobson says:

    Shakeira and Adam – thank you so much for sharing your story. Two blogs and two lots of tears. You two are truly amazing and when you become parents I look forward to watching your children grow into the loving and caring people that you are. Shakiera your blog is truly inspiring xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There is nothing that can drag me in and make me love my husband even more than when he is caring for me, mindful of my feelings. It sounds like you definitely have a keeper there. Best wishes to you both. I will say a prayer if you don’t mind.

    Liked by 1 person

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