The Results are In – now for the red tape…..

As I mentioned in my last post, my hubby had to go back and have his “boys” retested. My specialist called me at lunchtime Friday and gave us the results. No better & No worse.

My Gynaecologist reiterated that there is nothing that my hubby can do to change this result so try not to dwell on it. He advised that his secretary would be in touch early next week to book our first IVF appointment and we can finally get the process started.

I have been reading through the Melbourne IVF website in the lead up to our appointment and whilst I respect the laws, I still find the fact that we are required to undergo police checks and child protection order checks baffling! We are not criminals or pedophiles, We are trying to produce our own child! Using our own goods, we simply need medical intervention to make that happen – we wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t necessary. If we were using donor sperm of eggs or pursuing surrogacy then I would understand why this would be required, if I had donated my goods then I would want to know they are going into good hands, but it just doesn’t seem right that our Governments Assisted Reproductive Treatment Act of 2008 requires these checks in order to attempt to produce a child with my own husband! Yet this isn’t required if we were able to conceive naturally? How many children are born each year to drug addicts, criminals and sex offenders – yet because they are fertile little fuckers –  it’s ok??

http://mivf.com.au/fertility-treatment/victorian-legislation-on-ivf#applying-for-the-required-checks

Even Melbourne IVF agrees that it is Bullshit!

“At Melbourne IVF, we continue to express to the Victorian government our opposition to the ART legislation Criminal (Police) Record Check and Child Protection Order Check requirements. We also encourage patients and their families to contact their local member for parliament to express their concerns and personal experiences. You may also consider contacting ACCESS, the national infertility network that campaigns for the rights of patients undergoing treatment in Victoria.”

I decided to do a little research on Centrelink’s website and what I found only made me angry! You’re not required to fill complete a police check or drug test for that matter to claim a Newborn Upfront Payment or Parenting payments. under 19? no worries – they will just throw you a little more money and even help you get back to school – but don’t worry if you have a criminal record… they don’t care! They will even help you pay your rent and phone bill.

What this means for us is a possible delay in our start date as it can take up to 10 business days for Vic Police to process our requests, Even though we are required to pay a fee! A fee that likely goes to support criminal drug addicted parents. whose children often end up in foster homes and if you want to care for that child – you’re gonna need a police check!

So, Thank You to the Australian Government for adding further delay to an already lengthy process in our quest to parenthood. We really appreciate the unnecessary inconvenience!

Until next time xx

 

 

 

 

 

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The Results are In – now for the red tape…..

A message to my husband

Tomorrow we have an appointment with Melbourne IVF Andrology, my husband is having his “boys” retested. Last time we received the following results:

Volume – 3.5mls (anything over 1.5ml is good)

Mobbility – 51% (anything over 40% is good)

Million per mL: 35 (anything over 15 is good)

Abnormal Count – 99% (Between 95-96% is deemed “normal”)

My specialist has advised that they will always retest the original result as sperm can regenerate ever 72 days or so and the results can change.

To give you a bit of an idea as to what this means for us – Our IVF Treatment will be ICSI :

ICSI treatment involves injecting a single sperm into each egg using very fine micromanipulation equipment. As the human egg is one-tenth of a millimetre in diameter and the sperm 100 times smaller this is a very delicate procedure performed by highly skilled embryologists using a very sophisticated microscope.

It is now that you can see why it is so bloody expensive! Melbourne IVF’s website states that our estimated out of pocket costs per cycle are $4,206.60 +  Medication – allow up to $450 per cycle + Anaesthetic (both egg collection & embryo transfer) + Hospital bed fees if not covered by our health insurance, insurance excess etc, etc….

after learning all of this, I find myself wondering ” what is going on in his head?”

I know that my husband is putting on a brave front for me. I have spent that last 11 years with this man, I know these things by now. He will shake it off and act cool but I see behind this when I look into his eyes.

It is this reason that I felt the need to write this post.

To my husband, the man I love. The man I plan on spending the rest of my life with, In sickness and in health!

Thank you for being so strong throughout all of this. I know that you were shattered when you got your results, probably more than me. But I want you to know that this doesn’t make you any less of a man. it makes you a better one. You have shown me just how much you want a child. I know that you cant wait to be a dad. You tell me all the time.
I picture you with a baby laying on your chest as you lay on the couch. or when you’re cooking me breakfast I see you teaching our kids to cook so they can be just like daddy. I want you to know that I appreciate you wiping my tears and comforting me when you were likely holding back your own.

I love you more than I can ever express to you in words. I am so blessed to share this life with you and I am so thankful that you are so supportive. I just hope you know that I am here for you too. We are a team and I have your back, just as you have mine. Every step of this journey will be together.

if it gets too much – tell me! , if you want to cry – you have my shoulder, and if you would prefer to talk to a mate about it then that’s ok too.

I have so much respect for you and I admire the man you have become. You are no longer the 17 year old guy I fell for, you’re better! You’re so passionate in everything that you do. You aren’t afraid, You’re resilient and the most amazing husband. For this, I thank you.

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Me and Hubby – 17 years old,

I just hope that your mates are there for you, either to listen to you when you open up to them or take your mind off everything we are going through even for an hour or two.

Boys – if you’re reading this, talk to him about it. I would hope that he would be there for you if roles were reversed.

It is because our friends and family didn’t know what to say other than “relax, it will happen!” that we decided to share our story – we are happy to talk about it. One day we will tell this story to our children, and explain to them just how much we wanted them to come into the world.

Thank you to all of the beautiful ladies who have shared their stories with us privately – you know who you are – it means so much to us to have such incredible support.

Thanks Again,

Shakiera – The Happy Wife

A message to my husband

Our Journey Before IVF

I want to provide my followers with a bit of background of our journey to parenthood so far.

I previously mentioned that we started trying to conceive (ttc) in May 2014.
We were initially going to start in November 2013 but after discussion with our parents we agreed to get married first.

I would like to point out that we didn’t get married just because we wanted children.
We got married as a sign of our commitment to each other. We have so much love in our relationship and we wanted to celebrate it. It was the most amazing day and I am so glad we did it.

Our wedding was planned for July 2014. After discussions with my gynaecologist in November 2013 & January 2014 we started ttc asap.
The pain I was experiencing was intense! I ended up in the emergency room of the royal women’s on a Sunday night – and that was mid cycle!

The first 3 months of ttc was the lead up to our wedding. I had told my mother and mother in law that there is a possibility I would be pregnant on my wedding day. We were ok with that and they respected our decision. We had already delayed our initial “start” date by 6 months, we weren’t willing to wait any longer.

My experience of trying to fall pregnant is this….. It makes you fucking paranoid!!!!
Everytime I got a slight headache or upset tummy, I convinced myself I might be pregnant.
On 2 occasions in the last 9 months my body as tricked me and left me absolutely devas Continue reading “Our Journey Before IVF”

Our Journey Before IVF

But… Isn’t it supposed to be easy?

15 Months Ago, we first started seriously talking about babies. Its supposed to be easy isn’t it? Isn’t that what we have been “practicing” all of these years?

I’ve wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember, I’ve never known any of the women in my family to suffer from fertility problems. So this news hit me hard!

At age 25, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. After suffering excruciating period pain for my entire adult life, I finally listened to my girlfriends and saw a gynaecologist. He suggested laparoscopic surgery and within 12 days I was in theatre.

My doctor is one of the best in the business. He successfully removed my endometriosis and assured me I would feel better soon, i healed well and carried on life.

I just assumed that when 2 years later we decided we would like to start a family, it would just kind of happen…. Boy was I wrong!

In November 2013, we decided that after almost 10 years together and a 7 year engagement we should probably get married. We set a date – July 2014 and agreed that we should stop “not trying” to have a baby 3 months before our big day. I  was happy to be pregnant on my wedding day as I knew that with my endometriosis it might take us a while to fall pregnant naturally.

May 2014 – I stopped “the pill” and we had the mentality of whatever will be, will be..

In the past 8 months we have done so much! We opened a small business – Lucialina Pizzeria (June 2014) with my brother in law. We GOT MARRIED! (July 2014), Honeymoon (July 2014) & a spontaneous romantic Bali Holiday (October 2014). I had another Laparoscopic Surgery (December 2014) to remove endometriosis and a monster cyst that decided to call my left ovary home! My specialist also provided us with news that broke my heart… My husband was diagnosed with 99% abnormal sperm. Despite removing my endometriosis and being as fertile as I will ever be, we need to start IVF.

I cried all day when I heard the news. I felt for my husband as I knew just how much he would be hurting. Whilst he stayed strong for me, I know that it hurts him just as much as it hurts me.

The time has come for me to be strong for him. We have our first IVF meeting in a few weeks. And I have to admit – I’m shitting myself!!!!! But I want to be a mum more than anything in the world and I am willing to do whatever it takes. If that means I have to be poked and prodded then so be it.

I will continue to post our journey to Parenthood. It’s going to be an emotional ride but it’s going to be worth it.

I am so fortunate to have such an amazingly supportive husband to share my life with. He is my world and I feel so blessed to be his wife.

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But… Isn’t it supposed to be easy?